I was so excited about the snow, and then it had to go and make us hit a mailbox and get clipped by a teenager.

This semester is freaking me out.

I had a dream over Thanksgiving weekend that there was a class that I'd forgotten to go to the entire semester, taught by my high school homeroom teacher, and I kept trying to convince him to pass me or at least give me enough extra credit that I would be able to pass.

This Japanese paper is driving me up the wall. It takes so long for me to figure out what I want to say and actually write it that it will take me an hour to come up with five sentences. I'm so over this class - I don't even know why I decided to take it anymore, or why I stuck with it. Three of the people in that class spent a year studying in Japan, one lived in Japan for a few years, and then there's me and the other guy, and he's got an advantage over me in that he's straight out of 301 and I took it a year ago. I really hope she's grading us on a different scale than the rest of them (which I think she is, since she's been giving them extra work that we don't have to do) or else we're turbo-fucked. As it is, I'm just hoping for a C.

I've also got all my German response papers that I forgot to do, plus a 10-15 page paper for the same class. Thankfully the big paper is due the week of exams, and not the week before like I thought. Still, I've been getting stress headaches on top of cramps, and this week is just not looking very good.

Dammit, I really want to find a good online roleplay.

I was in jigoku_apts, and while it was a good game I had to drop it because of classes. I'd like to rejoin eventually as a different character, and I could probably rejoin now, but I've been looking for other games that might also pique my interest... and I have come to the conclusion that my Google-fu is incredibly weak - I don't have the patience to wade through fifty million links to find what I want most of the time, let alone when I'm looking for decent, literate RP in a setting I like. There's some LJ communities that look good, but I'm not always keen on logging in and out of several different accounts. Maybe I just suck at finding games.

I probably shouldn't be nit-picking, though. Just because the one I'm checking out right now seems to think that plants need oxygen to survive doesn't mean it's bad... right?

Originally I'd wanted to go trick-or-treating, but since most of my friends weren't going - either because they would be at Youmacon, or because they just didn't want to go - I decided I'd just wait until I have kids and steal all their candy. Then, on Friday, Peter mentioned he and Rux were going to go trick-or-treating, so of course I jumped at the chance ... I just didn't have a costume. So Peter and I decided that we'd cut up a couple boxes and I could go as Marvin the Robot, as a compliment to his Arthur Dent costume.

I didn't even make it to the car before I decided I would just wear one box one my head, as the body restricted my movement so that I couldn't even hold my pillowcase open, and just wearing it tired my arms out. Of course, that didn't stop the other box from smacking into my nose and turning to block my vision with every movement. When we got to the second (and last - all the other houses were dark, probably because we decided to go at 9:00, roughly two hours after all the little kids had gone) house, they asked what my costume was. I replied, "A sore nose and a broken ankle waiting to happen." Then we went to campus to visit Pyramid Head!Jimmy, and I decided that what my costume really was, was A Poor Life Decision.

( Anyway, pics from Halloween! )

Today we went to my grandma's house to help her out by raking the leaves off her lawn. Since Leaf Pile Olympics is this Friday, we figured we would make sure we had a nice supply of leaves and give Grandma some extra help my relieving her of all the leaves. So, after most of us had lunch, all seven of us (me, Nick, Ben, Peter, Gospel, Rux, and Jason) headed over and used some tarps to stuff all the leaves into the back of Nick's truck.

( There were, of course, the usual amount of shenanigans... )

All in all, it was a pretty awesome Halloween. I think next year I'd like to throw a party.

I met with my German advisor this morning before class to talk about grad school and get my major slip so I can apply to graduate in the spring. To graduate, I need to take 452 (Advanced German Comp) and another 500-level class.

Guess what's not available for next semester?

Olivia's having me come back at 12:30 to see if there's something we can do, but I'm probably not going to be graduating in April. God DAMMIT.

I don't know if it was from drinking right before bed last night or what, but I managed to wake up both myself and Nick last night because I started making noises during a nightmare. I can't even remember it now, just that the part where I started freaking out involved a soldier of some sort following a beautiful woman into a room on a date, after she picked up her three nieces/nephews (they were children of SOME sort), and she ended up being a monster that was going to eat him and he couldn't move. And then I had another dream that probably would have been just as disturbing if I hadn't woken up before anything really bad happened (and of course I only remember bits and pieces of it).

I'm starting to wish I didn't remember my dreams at all, because the few times I do I seem to end up remembering ones that make me feel depressed or disturbed by them for the entire day.

The clicker for my car (you know, the one that locks/unlocks the car and opens the trunk and turns on the alarm) is dead. It would only be annoying if I actually had a key that OPENED the trunk, but I don't - and I need to get into the trunk to open my gas cap. I haven't been able to get a hold of my dad to see if he has an extra key or something, and since GM doesn't make Oldsmobiles anymore I can't go to a dealer and get a new clicker. Nick's come up with a short-term solution - he bought a Grab-it Gopher and uses it from the back seat to pull the gas-cap release - but I kind of need to open the trunk at some point because all of the Whimsy stuff is in there. And of course, my dad went on his annual golf weekend this week, so even if he actually gets around to calling me today he's probably going to be hung over. BAH.

Super-awesome: I got my new laptop! Yaaaaaay! It's blue and shiny and has a sweet keyboard, and I named it Chrono. I'm probably going to be spending all night transferring my bookmarks to Opera and installing Sims3.

Not super-awesome: The UPS person left the package outside my door. Thanks. (Also, the cat tried to run out the door when I picked up the package. Little bugger.)

I was so excited that Nick got Fruit Stripes gum from Walmart, and that they still have the temporary tattoos on the wrappers, and then the second piece I ate made my mouth feel like it was on fire. :(

I've given up on the original laptop I wanted - it was supposed to be in stock yesterday, but I checked several times throughout the day and it was still unavailable. I can't wait forever to get a new computer, so I just ended up getting a different one (that was better anyway) for $800 instead. It should get here around Wednesday/Thursday/Friday, hopefully.

I've been pretty mellow lately, considering the loss of my computer and the god-awful cramps I've had to put up with this week, mostly because when I managed to get a hold of my dad he promised he would get me a new laptop, and we would talk about it when he got back into town today. He called a little while ago, and he gave me his CC info so I could order the computer I want off of Newegg. I made my account, got ready to order, and realized a bit too late that it's sold out.

D:

My choices now are to either look around to see if I can find another computer that will do what I want for the same price, or wait until next Friday to order the first computer. Considering that it took some cajoling to make Dad comfortable with the idea of ordering off of a site he knows nothing about, and that $650 is a damn good price, I'm inclined to wait, even if it does leave me with no decent computer for an extra week. I don't think Dad will mind too terribly that I can't order it right away (though he will fret about ID theft no matter what I say).

Mostly I'm willing to wait a bit longer if it means that I don't have to play more phone tag and spend time convincing Dad that I know what I'm talking about.

I no longer have a desktop. I managed to get a Trojan yesterday, so Nick and Ben reformatted the computer today. They needed the part number of the video card so they could download the drivers, so they opened up the side of the computer and somehow a nickel fell in and fried the motherboard. I am now stuck with my crap-tastic laptop, and hopefully I can convince my dad to get me a new one for school.

Well, I certainly feel stupid now. Turns out I wasn't hacked, I just apparently forgot my account name, did a search for my email address and found what appears to be an old account that I haven't used since '04. My main account is still safe and sound. MY BAD.

Oh god, I got back into Gaia. I blame Oz - she was talking about her art shop, and I wanted to check it out, so I logged on yesterday...

Only to find that all of my stuff was missing, along with all but 1,000 gold. Either I got hacked sometime between now and late 2007/early 2008, or all the updates to Gaia somehow erased my stuff. I filled out a hacking report, and I wouldn't be too bothered by the whole situation if it weren't for the fact that I had several collectibles that took me a long time to save up for. I really, really would like my Horns of the Demon and CoCo Kitty Plushie back.

I think I might try and open an art shop. It would be a good way to earn gold, and would also give me opportunities to practice drawing more. There's a couple problems, though: I'm not skilled enough with Photoshop and my tablet to do anything very good on the computer, and I don't have a whole lot of samples. There's a couple drawings on my deviantArt that might be okay to use, but other than that I don't have much.

Also, apparently the last time I was on Gaia I decided it would be a good idea to change my name to Pie Is Good. I've been told by several people it sounds like a name Nick would pick.

I never did hear back from the Den. My interview was a week ago - I thought it went okay, though it was a little short, and they told me I'd hear from them around Wednesday. I've gotten nothing. In the meantime, I've applied to five more jobs, and on the twenty-fifth they'll be hiring for the WMU cafeteria, so if I show up early enough I'll have a good chance of getting that job. Hopefully somebody will hire me. I'm getting sick of being broke and having nothing to do.

Tomorrow Nick and I are going to the Detroit Zoo with his Mom, his stepdad, his sister and her boyfriend.

Oh god, I just got a phone call from the Den and I have a job interview. It's at 8:00 tomorrow night, I assume because the person doing interviews is working nights while they go through applications. Wish me luck!

I've been getting increasingly more depressed lately. No matter how many jobs I apply to or how many times I call back, I can't seem to get even an interview, let alone any kind of position. I feel like I'm nothing but a burden - my parents are paying my rent, Mom just gave me a bunch of money so I can pay my bills for the year, and most of the time Nick feeds me. I can't afford to get myself an alarm clock, let alone the laptop I've been wanting to save up for, or those rats that I couldn't get now anyway since I'll be graduating soon and I don't know what I'll be doing after that.

I could make about a hundred dollars drawing illustrations for my mom, but I've been losing interest in doing almost anything creative. I've got four or five knitting and crochet projects in progress that I have little to no interest in finishing. I have a story idea I'd like to write, but I can't seem to put anything down on paper. I'm lucky to have drawn a quick sketch of my Scion character the other night. I've been considering trying to run a Werewolf game, but it didn't work out last time and I have pretty much no initiative to work on it at this point. I have almost no desire to create, and I want it back so desperately because as horrible and unskilled as I think I am, it's a huge part of me.

Also, I feel like a complete shut-in. Nick assumed I was okay with just being at his place all the time, because I spent a lot of time online and playing Little Big Planet and never mentioned that I felt restless, and to be honest whenever he asked if I wanted to go for a walk I would just say "No, maybe later" because I was on the internet and I haven't had the drive to do much of anything lately. I ended up blowing up at him and then crying today, and we're going to try to go out more often, starting with the Farmer's Market tomorrow. I just want to stop being so irritable and weepy all the time - more and more often I seem to be breaking down in tears or snapping for no reason at every little thing. I haven't felt like this for a couple years, and it's so damn scary to realize what's going on and not know how to stop it before it becomes worse. I don't even want to think about what it would be like for me if Nick wasn't around.

I've been so bored lately. It seems like all I do is hang out at Ben and Nick's apartment, reading LJ and my webcomics and playing either Sims3 or Civ4. I've gotten back into Bookmooch, which is a really good way to get rid of the manga I don't like anymore (almost all of the shoujo manga I've posted on there has been snatched up in less than 24 hours) and pick up new ones without having to shell out $10 for each volume.

Nick and I did hang out downtown for a while on Wednesday, looking at all the downtown shops and grabbing some lunch before checking out the Japanese exhibit at the Kalamazoo Valley Museum. I forgot the KVM is really more of a kid's museum - we went through the entire place in probably 15 minutes, and the actual exhibit in, oh, three? Still had a good time, though. Nick had half of a Moxie cola, which tastes "like a mixture of Coke and root beer, with some window cleaner added for good measure" and makes your tongue want to crawl out of your mouth after tasting it. Now the grass next to the museum is full of vim and vigor.

I've also applied to a couple of multifandom RPs on LJ: Paedeia, where I've apped Rosette Christopher from Chrono Crusade (and I probably should have found someone to play Chrono as well, because it's going to be hard to play Rosette without Chrono), and Jigoku Apartments, where I've apped Aerith. They both look really cool, and I really like the multifandom-meets-horror premises. I hope I get in - I seem to be rather bad at finding games with ideas I like that are actually active, since most of my searching turns up games that have been inactive for at least a year.

Still no job, though I've turned in a few applications to people who are supposedly hiring right now, and I'll be looking through the classifieds for baby-sitting ads so I can bring in SOMETHING. Mom gave me $1,500 from her dwindling "Sarah's college fund" to help with bills and food - assuming that we keep the cable/internet package (which I really can't afford and Beth probably can't either) and the electric is the same each month (last month it was $38, this month it's $132 - if we don't use the A/C so much we'll be fine), I'll have $15 a week for food, gas, and anything else I need to purchase. Looks like I'll still be eating over at Nick's most of the time. I also won't be able to afford a parking permit, but since Nick's over most nights I can just get a ride to campus with him.

Two hours ago I could have sworn that I was "almost done" with my book, and now that I'm finally done I can already feel the monumental laziness that will result from me sleeping late tomorrow. I'll probably set my alarm for eight and hit the snooze a couple times - I can get by just fine on five or six hours of sleep if it means I can feel like I could maybe get something done (though I probably won't).

I'm so glad my cousin has cats. Ki-kat keeps stealing my seat whenever I get up, and earlier Maggie was sitting in a box chasing her own tail. I missed having cats around.

I can't decide if I am horrible at playing first-person shooters because I don't play them often, or if I don't play them often because I'm horrible at playing them. I'm lucky to get three kills when I play Call of Juares when Nick and Ben LAN it. Also, I need more comfortable headphones - the pair I have now hurt the back of my ears after a bit.

Last night I made a journal for myself, using the instructions from this tutorial.



( Read more... )

If anyone else does bookbinding, I was wondering if you have any tips for beginners? Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated. Also, would it be possible to have the covers and the binding be one continuous piece? I'm assuming it's not a big deal, but Nick thinks I should check to make sure I don't end up with a falling-apart mess.